Life has been on the fast lane for some time...with work, other activities, Spanish classes on weekends...I have been running in my mind each day but somehow I am unable to figure out what exactly am I looking for. With too many ifs and buts in my head...I feel over the last six months I have been wanting to achieve a lot and have been constantly falling down and trying to get up.
I was wondering about goals in life. I was never a person who would plan things in ahead and so far it has always worked for me but when I look back I feel I cud have achieved much more than what I have if had planned things out little more with thoughts put in.
But I have always been an impromptu person and not a schemer in mind...For me personal goals such as happiness, family, friends, heart to heart chat were more important than probably being CEO of a company and I always thought u can achieve either at the cost of other. May be I was right or maybe wrong i.e I just limited by thoughts and henceforth my actions to realise my true potential.
Sometimes I feel being ‘not satisfied’ and ‘being greedy’ is good, u actually persevere to get to things which you felt were unachievable and in the course u spend the talents the universe has bestowed you with....Sometimes when I am too focussed in life (which is a rarity) I achieve everything that I set out to.... but this phase is too short in my life to mention its significance...But I so much wish such a phase was my entire life where I would be kicked about goals in life and about achieving them.
While writing this, I am actually able to feel my ‘quieter side’ who wants to make a point always to the side which is known to the world. It is like a checker of my thoughts always....It wants to live its own individuality and do things and not get limited by societal or any other kind of restrictions....but it is scared of being left alone ....we follow the crowd probably because of the feeling what if I am left alone...
Sometimes I feel what I am currently doing is because that is the easiest and safest way to go about things and this is not what it should with me because I have always thought things from the other side of the view and not what people think it is correct....I have always loved the rule breakers ...people who made their presence felt in their own possible way...the name that comes to my mind now is Assange...dont know the ethics part ...but his ways shook the world and made us sit up and think!!!...another person whom I like to mention is Gandhi....these days its fashion to bring him down and talk the negatives that he did. But I like that man becoz of his belief in himself, the courage to coin a concept and reach his goal using that concept. Yes, he had many flaws and I guess it was reinstatement of the fact that he is human being and yet he had the strength of the universe to unite the then India to come together for one cause independence.....and thats the part I like about him ...his confidence and conviction in his own philosophy...and I feel I lack that somewhere in my life... on the eve of independence day I wish could be more independent of my own wrong perceptions and false imaginations of so called realities of life... AMEN!!!
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